Will You Still Be The Primary Parent After Your Divorce?

The phenomenon of primary parenting has ruined marriages since long before it had a name. Primary parenting is where one parent takes on a disproportionate share of the mundane tasks involved in the children’s care, such as baths and bedtime routines, as well as the decisions involved in their care, such as scheduling dentists’ appointments and transporting the children to them. The non-primary parent usually does not know how overwhelmed the primary parent feels, and the parents’ resentment toward each other as the children grow up and extracurricular activities require ever bigger time commitments, and their education requires ever more planning. Meanwhile, the non-primary parent feels that the primary parent doesn’t appreciate the non-primary parent’s contributions, or even actively shuts him or her out of the children’s lives. Depending on how you and your ex-spouse draft and follow your parenting plan, divorce can solve the problem of primary parenting, or it can make it worse. If your marriage fell apart because you are the primary parent to your children, contact a Birmingham child custody lawyer.

The Parenting Plan Lets You Decide Who Is the Primary Legal  Parent Regarding Decisions

If you and your spouse have minor children together, the court will not finalize your divorce until you and your spouse draft a parenting plan; if you cannot agree on the terms of your parenting plan, the court will set its terms at your trial. Not only does the parenting plan divide parenting time between the parents, but it also allocates which parent has the final or primary legal say in certain decisions. These decisions include the children’s non-emergency medical care, education, and extracurricular activities. You can allocate some or all of these decisions to one parent or the other, or you can agree to make them jointly, but this framework for decision making is legally binding.

Everyone Is the Primary Physical Parent During His or Her Own Parenting Time

Most families design their parenting plans to minimize disruption to the children’s routine; the parent who supervised the children’s homework and school night bedtimes during the marriage will usually continue to do so after the divorce. Despite this, you are the primary physical parent during your parenting time, and your ex is the primary physical parent during your ex’s parenting time. This means that, even if your ex made all the decisions about parenting during your marriage, she cannot micromanage your children (with some exceptions) during your court-ordered parenting time. Likewise, if you took on all the responsibility for parenting while you are married, you have no choice but to let your ex-spouse take the lead during his court-ordered parenting time. You can take that time to earn money through gigs, socialize with friends, or perhaps even catch up on some of the sleep that you missed during your many years as the primary parent.

Contact Peeples Law About Finding a New Normal After Default Parenting

A Birmingham family law attorney can help you finalize your parenting plan if default parenting ruined your relationship with your spouse.  Contact Peeples Law in Birmingham, Alabama today to schedule a consultation.

Sources:

scarymommy.com/lifestyle/default-parent-divorce

scarymommy.com/parenting/the-parenting-plan-divorce-custody-marriage