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Birmingham Divorce Lawyer > Blog > Child Custody > Being A Source Of Stability For Your Children When Your Ex-Spouse Gets Divorced From Your Children’s Stepparent

Being A Source Of Stability For Your Children When Your Ex-Spouse Gets Divorced From Your Children’s Stepparent


We all have our vices, but sometimes we have to give them up temporarily for the sake of our children.  For example, a glass of wine after work might have been the highlight of your day ever since you got your first 9-to-5 job, but while you were pregnant, you had to replace your favorite after dinner drink with a glass of pomegranate juice mixed with sparkling water.  Once your kids were born, you gave up cursing, at least in their presence.  If your vice is drama, though, then you will have to abstain from it from the time you file for divorce until you reach adulthood.  Keeping your feelings about your ex-spouse to yourself while your children are present is one of the most difficult parts of divorce, but it is even more difficult to disengage from the drama when your ex-spouse marries someone new, especially if the someone new is the reason your ex decided to divorce you in the first place.  Even if your ex-spouse later divorces the homewrecker, you should not gloat or otherwise stoke the conflict in front of your children.  You may, however, need to modify your parenting plan.  You can accomplish this with the help of a Birmingham child custody lawyer.

Three Wrongs Don’t Make a Right

A recent letter to the syndicated advice column Ask Amy describes an example of how bad things can get when children watch a parent go through more than one divorce.  The letter writer is the father of two teen daughters; he divorced their mother when she cheated on him with a man that she later married.  Five years later, the mother cheated on the stepfather, too, leading to another divorce.  Now the stepfather is involving the children in all the ensuing drama, trying to turn them against their mother.  Amy wisely advised the father to take the moral high ground, not to communicate with the stepfather, and, if necessary, to prevent him from communicating with the children.

If your children are living through instability when they are with your ex because your ex is going through another divorce, the best thing you can do is to be a refuge from all the anger and chaos that your kids are experiencing at their other home.  Exercise your parenting time, and be the best parent you can be.  Contact your ex and offer to take more days of parenting time temporarily if your ex needs this (for example, if your ex needs to move out of the house she shared with her new ex), but don’t get involved in all of the ugly details of the divorce.

Contact Peeples Law About Co-Parenting in Situations That Are Beyond Your Control

A Birmingham family law attorney can help you modify your parenting plan if your ex-spouse gets another divorce or if your ex-spouse’s living situation otherwise changes.  Contact Peeples Law today to schedule a consultation.



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