Divorce Is A Slow Road To A New Normal

The only thing worse than being unhappily married and feeling like no one understands you is being recently divorced and feeling that no one understands you. At least, when you are unhappily married, you have one imperfect partner instead of potentially facing down an endless succession of unrequited crushes who will all ultimately reject you. When you were with your ex, you could bear the discomfort of family gatherings together, even if it meant turning the blame on each other on the drive home. Now your former in-laws, even the ones you used to be close with, will not give you the time of day, and you must bear your family’s judgmental comments alone. Your first holiday season after divorce may one day be a memory that you look back on fondly, but now it feels like a low point in your life. For help negotiating the terms of your divorce to maximize your chances of your finances not always being such a bummer, contact a Birmingham divorce lawyer.

There Is More Than One Rock Bottom

While your divorce is still pending, or when you are still tying up loose ends financially after the judge has signed the court order officially dissolving your marriage, it is difficult to identify the lowest point. Was it when your spouse served you with divorce papers, or when you found out that your spouse was cheating? Was it when your kids squealed with excitement about a gift your ex’s new partner gave them, or was it when you raked the autumn leaves from your front lawn by yourself, taking at least twice as long as the task used to take every other year, when you and your spouse used to do it together? Things can only start to get better when you stop eagerly anticipating the moment when things will stop getting worse. Moving on from your divorce means accepting that uncertainty is a part of life.

Embrace the Imperfect Status Quo and Realize That It Will Not Last Forever

While your divorce is pending, your finances are in freefall while also being at a standstill. Things might get better if you can sell your house and move in with your parents. Divorce courts often issue a status quo order that prevents either spouse from making major transactions with marital property. You can only sell your house if the court authorizes the sale, and if doing so is part of your settlement agreement with your spouse, or after your divorce becomes final.

Now Is Not the Time to Make Everyone Understand Your Point of View

Your kids, your parents, or anyone else might blame you for alienating your spouse or giving up on your marriage too soon. Now is not the time to change their minds. The passage of time might change your perspective and other people’s.

Contact Peeples Law About Getting Through the Worst Parts of Divorce

A Birmingham family law attorney can help you if you are getting divorced and are worried about whether your finances and familial relationships will ever improve.  Contact Peeples Law in Birmingham, Alabama today to schedule a consultation.

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