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Birmingham Divorce Lawyer > Blog > Divorce > On Not Putting Your Children’s Caregivers In The Middle Of Your Messy Divorce

On Not Putting Your Children’s Caregivers In The Middle Of Your Messy Divorce


If the bots that simultaneously track and influence your online behavior have detected that you have a taste for celebrity Schadenfreude, then this year your social media feeds have likely been abuzz with news about the messy divorce between Olivia Wilde and Jason Sudeikis, which is only getting messier.  Most recently, news outlets have reported that a former nanny for the couple’s children is suing them over the mistreatment she experienced after their marriage fell apart.  She began working for them as a live-in nanny in 2018, staying with the family even after the parents separated in 2020.  They frequently asked her to pick sides in their disagreements, and even as the job of being a nanny for a family at war against itself grew more stressful, they refused to allow her to take time off.  Sudeikis and Wilde’s situation is only the worst-case scenario, but even for couples with a household income in the bottom 99 percent, childcare can be a point of contention.  A Birmingham divorce lawyer can help you keep the peace with your children’s caregivers even if you and your ex can barely stand to be in the same room together.

School and Daycare Can Be a Source of Continuity for Children During a Stressful Time

Keeping your children at the same school or daycare they attended before the divorce is best for them, even if it means that one parent has a longer commute to drop the children off or pick them up during his or her parenting time.  There is no harm in telling your children’s teachers or caregivers about your divorce and parenting plan, but badmouthing your ex-spouse to them will only make things worse for you.  If your case goes to trial, your divorce lawyer may ask employees of your child’s school or daycare to testify or submit written statements affirming that you are abiding by the parenting plan and that you have a strong relationship with your children.

In-Home Nannies and Shared Child Custody Arrangements

It might be possible for teachers and daycare workers to avoid getting involved in the messiness of your divorce, but in-home caregivers such as nannies and babysitters see the mess up close.  In-home childcare is often a contentious issue in divorce cases for couples with young children.  Who is responsible for paying the nanny after the divorce?  Should the same nanny care for the children when they are at Mom’s house and when they are at Dad’s house, and if not, which parent should hire a new nanny?  No matter how bad your divorce is, remember that your nanny is not a divorce lawyer, nor is she your therapist; confiding in your children’s nanny about your divorce is a terrible idea.

Contact Peeples Law About Childcare During a Contentious Divorce

A Birmingham family law attorney can help you account for childcare in your parenting plan and financial disclosures.  Contact Peeples Law today to schedule a consultation.



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