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Birmingham Divorce Lawyer > Blog > Divorce > Can Divorced Parents Live Together In The Same House?

Can Divorced Parents Live Together In The Same House?


Often, when a couple files for divorce, it has been years since they felt that they were truly living together as a couple.  They rarely socialized together, and they slept in separate bedrooms.  They ate separate food at separate times and only talked to each other when there was an upcoming deadline relating to money or parenting.  In other words, they acted like they were already divorced.  If you and your spouse have been emotionally separated but living together in the same house, you might worry that getting legally divorced will only make things more complicated.  Divorced couples continue living together more often than you think, but unless you have all of the rules of your co-parenting relationship and your housemate relationship spelled out in writing, and unless you follow the rules to the letter, it is a recipe for conflict.  For help strategizing about setting boundaries with your ex but causing as little disruption as possible for your children or your finances, contact a Birmingham divorce lawyer.

The Parenting Aspects of Living Under the Same Roof With Your Ex-Spouse Are Simpler Than the Financial Aspects

Can you live with your ex-spouse?  Yes, you can.  Do you want to?  That’s a different story.  On the opposite side of the Alabama-Florida border, Phil Collins, the pop singer so unhip that it’s impossible not to love him, lived in a Miami mansion with his ex-wife Orianne Cevey and their two sons for years after they got divorced.  Everything was fine until Orianne married her boyfriend and moved him into the house while Phil was out of town for the weekend.

On the one hand, parenting plans are simpler when the whole family is in the same house.  The parenting plan just specifies which parent is on parenting duty, and since you aren’t trying to repair your marriage with your spouse, you can’t be tempted to say yes when your ex asks you to drive the kids to school just this once even though it’s your ex’s parenting time, so you should be spending that time working or sleeping late.  On the other hand, how do you manage finances with a housemate who is also your co-parent?  How does child support work?  And don’t even ask about in-laws or dating.

Are “Bird Nesting” Parenting Plans Only for Rich People?

Some unhappy couples stay together in the same house before or after divorce because one house costs less than two.  It is even possible to base your parenting plan on a co-parenting strategy known as bird nesting.  In this framework, the children stay in the family home year-round, and the parents come and go, depending on whose parenting time it is.  The only problem is that three houses are even more expensive than two.  The least expensive way to make bird nesting work is to live with your parents or in employer-provided housing when it is not your parenting time.

Contact Peeples Law About Non-Traditional Parenting Plans

A Birmingham family law attorney can help you if paying for two households after divorce sounds daunting.  Contact Peeples Law today to schedule a consultation.




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