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Birmingham Divorce Lawyer > Blog > Child Custody > Common Co-Parenting Mistakes And How To Fix Them

Common Co-Parenting Mistakes And How To Fix Them


Raising children is one of life’s great challenges, even though it is also one of the most rewarding and meaningful experiences you can have.  If you get divorced while your children are minors, it can throw your parenting routines into disarray.  You might feel like you have to start from zero when it comes to setting expectations with your children, and you might feel like it is all your ex’s fault.  Likewise, if your teen seems to want nothing to do with you, you might imagine that your ex is that rare parent who has managed to earn a teenager’s trust and respect, even though you doubt that your ex accomplished this feat through legitimate means.  Taking the moral high road when your children and your ex-spouse seem to be doing everything they can to get on your nerves and make your life difficult is no simple task.  You do not have to do it perfectly, and you do not have to do it without breaking a sweat.  These are some common bad habits that divorced parents fall into.  A Birmingham child custody lawyer can help you draft an airtight parenting plan to reduce your co-parenting stress.

Micromanaging Your Ex-Spouse

Being too picky about your spouse’s interactions with your child is detrimental to family relationships even when you are married.  There are lots of happily married people whose biggest source of conflict is that each of them thinks the other is too strict or too lenient with their children.  Going off at your ex about minor mistakes will only cause stress for your children.  Whatever you do, don’t throw a temper tantrum because your child left his swim goggles at your ex’s house.  Buying one pair of swim goggles for each house avoids these pointless fights and also sends the message that both parents’ houses are the child’s real home.

Competing With Your Ex for Your Children’s Affection

The goal of co-parenting is not to get your children to vote for you instead of for your ex, so don’t act like you are campaigning for their votes.  Don’t promise to grant wishes of theirs that your ex doesn’t grant, and don’t try to win their affection with gifts.  Instead, adopt the attitude that you are competing with yourself to be the most consistent and reliable parent you can be.

Making Your Children’s Stepparent the Enemy

If the enemy of your enemy is your friend, and your ex’s new partner is your enemy, does that mean that your children will consider you a friend if you can convince them that their stepparent is their enemy?  Even if this strategy has a chance of succeeding, it is against your children’s best interest if you do this.  Instead, adopt an abundance mindset.  You want to have a good relationship with your children, and you want your ex and your ex’s new partner to have a good relationship with them, too.

Contact Peeples Law About Stress-Free Co-Parenting

A Birmingham family law attorney can help you work out the details of your parenting plan so that you have more energy to devote to having a stable relationship with your children.  Contact Peeples Law today to schedule a consultation.



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